You know you’re a submariner’s wife if:

* You use the words poopie suit, duty, head, cover, O dark thirty and

field day in a non perverse way on a daily basis.

* You lost count of the number of times you’ve been on board “The

world’s most powerful warship”

* You know what time the mid watch is.

* You’ve stayed awake during the mid watch to talk to your husband on

the phone.

* You’ve eaten in crews mess and wonder how they could mess up a

salad.

* You’ve super glued, ironed on, or velcroed a patch onto a uniform

(or conned the local seamstress to make it right by tomorrow and she gets

double the price)

* You’ve lived in any or all of the following cities; Norfolk, VA. St. Marys, GA., Charleston, SC., Virginia Beach, VA., Groton, CT., Bangor, WA., Saratoga, NY., San Diego, CA., and Pearl Harbor, HI.

* You think the day after duty is a special holiday.

* You know the difference between a mini-day liberty after field day

and fast cruise.

* Your husband has ever uttered the words “I’m not at liberty to say”.

* You can pack a sea bag in under 10 minutes.

* You know what a TLD, LES and TVQ are, but you don’t know what the

letters stand for.

* You’ve stood on the pier despite snow and rain to watch the boat

pull in.

* Anything less than 30 days doesn’t really count as a patrol.

* The other crew/division always gets the better deal.

* You know at least 10 guys you would consider friends of the family

and yet you still don’t know their first names.

* You send emails religiously to a system you know is broken.

* You expect an email everyday from a system you know is broken.

* You’ve spent more months of your marriage apart than you have

together.

* You’ve actually grown to like sleeping alone despite the fact you

know you are married and he will possibly share that bed 110 days of 365.

* You use a phone tree or you are a phone tree caller

* You have your ombudsman’s number programmed into your phone only

because “something might happen and she is your only contact that can

successfully reach the captain”.

* You know what “boat smell” is.

* You know what month it changes from dress whites to dress blues and

back again.

* You give him a kiss and a smile when you drop him off at the

turnstiles and wonder why surface fleet entries aren’t the same.

(and then cry all the way home)

* You know what it means when your child says “daddy has

duty…again??” and proceed to take out all their frustrations on you.

* You know the differences between 3 section and 4 section duty.

* You can honestly accept phone calls, snail mail and webcams are

purely a surface luxury.

* You have told a creditor “No, really, I don’t have power of attorney

because he had to work every day until O dark thirty for 6 weeks prior to

this deployment but if you want your money you better tell me what the

problem is”.

* You look at your dog or cat as a “Partner in life”.

* You’ve listened to a surface fleet wife say “it’s been 2 days and I

haven’t heard anything from him” and wanted to punch her.

* You have asked the toilet “Why do you do this every time he leaves?”

(and the air conditioner, the garage door opener and the dryer, etc.)

* You check your email every 10 minutes by hitting the send/receive

button convincing yourself it has to be the server.

* You continue to miss and love the absent best friend and husband you

know that endures the bare minimum of life’s luxuries to keep his family and

this country safe.

* You have accepted the fact that no one will ever understand the

loneliness, pain and suffering your heart endures no matter how much they

say “I can imagine what it feels like.”

* Your husband/mate keeps a watch that counts down his time until

shore duty/EAOS to the second.

* You spend a majority of the time answering “I don’t know” to the

following questions: When will he be home? Will you make it for the

wedding? Can we book the hotel rooms for you now? Will you be here for the

family reunion? Will you make it to see us this year?

* You know the homecoming in a submariner’s life is the one thing that

makes it justified and how many hours you spend picking out the right outfit

no matter how unrecognized by the media.